BEFORE       "Welcome to the Nick's Place web site. We have developed this web site to allow you to get to know our products and services a bit better, as well as make all of our information available to you 24 hours a day.

We are the best sports bar in Southwest Houston. This neighborhood sports bar features great Italian food, homemade pizzas, pasta, sandwiches and salads with over 20 televisions and all the sports packages TV has to offer, you are sure to enjoy your visit.

We open daily from 11:00am - 2:00am. Come in and enjoy this lively casual sports bar!

We have put together this site with an easy to use interface and will continue to improve your online experience, if you have any feedback you would like to give us on the site or have any questions whatsoever feel free to email us nicksplc@swbell.net or give us a call at 713-780-8338"

Copywriting Analysis:  Most of the homepage focuses on the obvious:  the website was made to provide online information.  The homepage fails to convey a fun and light tone appropriate for a bar.  There are several run-on sentences.

AFTER       "At Nick’s Place, everyone feels at home!

Looking for a cozy, neighborhood atmosphere, pizza, beer and sports? You’ve found it. Kick-back in front of our 35 TV’s, enjoy drinks from our fully-stocked bar and eat awesome Italian food from our extensive menu. We’re connected to satellite, Direct TV and cable, and subscribe to sports packages galore so we’re sure to have your game on.

Looking for more? Play free shuffleboard, free NTN trivia, and get free high-speed Internet access any day of the week. Play pool, Golden Tee Golf or enter our Monday-night QB1 competition.

Drop by for Happy Hour, Monday through Friday: 11am-7pm or check out our daily food and drink specials.

Since 1993, our guests have found a home-away-from-home at Nick’s Place. Come check us out and become part of the family."